I could be wrong, but I don’t think we have too many Bikini Athletes over here in the UK. If anyone would like to jump in here and slap this pen out of my hand then by all means. I’m confident however that a Bikini Athlete marks all the classic…

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It’s been a tough week whittling down this weeks contenders for the top UK models on Instagram. I’ve agonised over my decision, worn holes in the lounge rug pacing around the flat in  my dressing gown, deliberating. And eventually, thought it best to remove myself from the listicle. “But babe?”…

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  True Story time. When I was younger with hair and hope in my eyes, I played at the SXSW festival. At an after show party I asked a delightful young lady where I might find the bathroom. After she kindly pointed me in the right direction she pulled me…

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‘I doubt very much that the Miami Beach Police would take kindly to what you’re doing‘ – Bond, Goldfinger. Tom Sellecks undefeatable moustache and 20 something waif-blondes with equally undefeatable breasts, ski-ing the sidewalks on roller blades, are the immediate stereotypical images I conjure when hearing the word Miami. My girlfriend calls it…

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‘Hey. Does this pole still work? [slides down a fireman’s pole] Wow. This place is great. When can we move in? You gotta try this pole.’ Dr. Raymond Stantz – Ghostbusters. I remember the only reason I wanted to be a fireman when I was younger was because I liked the idea of catching…

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‘The Man, the Machine… Street Hawk. Street Hawk is an all-terrain attack motorcycle, designed to fight urban crime. It is capable of speeds up to 300 mph and has immense firepower.’ – Voiceover guy, Streethawk. I don’t want to pick apart the voice-over guy in Streethawk, but surely he must have known…

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Santosh Patel: We will sail like Columbus. Pi Patel: But Columbus was looking for India! – Life of Pi. It was said of the great Jorge Selaron, Brazilian painter ceramist and creator of the eponymously named Escadaria Selarón in Brazil, that once he had finished inserting the last tile into his decorous stairwell,…

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Jessica Rabbit: You don’t know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do. Eddie Valiant: You don’t know how hard it is being a man looking at a woman looking the way you do. – Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Jessica Rabbit is one of the most…

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Busty Female Shop Assistant: ‘Is this some kind of bust?’ Lt. Frank Drebin: ‘Well… it’s very impressive, yes, but we need to ask you a few questions.’ – The Naked Gun 2 1/2, The Smell of Fear My first and only Hooters restaurant I frequented was in Prague, late summer circa 2009. I…

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‘My Polish husband gave me something long and hard on our wedding night, do you know what it was?’ [from the audience.. ‘a last name‘] ‘Oh you’ve heard that one huh‘. Sally Field, Punchline. Do the polish girls do it best? I suppose that depends on what they are doing?…

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