Date (6) with Anastasia. I’m driving like a maniac to make the 18.12 train from Huntingdon when my Mother calls.
‘Pete you have some mail at ours. I took the liberty of opening it and you have 4 separate speeding tickets. Please slow down’. So either a driving ban or minimum 500 sheets fine. Possibly both. Let me tell you it really took the swoosh out of my Nike. God damn traffic cops and their damn chicken sh*t tickets.
When we get to Hush Ana and I grab some cocktails upstairs, I order the Vesper and even recite the recipe to the barman.
‘Three measures of Gordon’s, one of vodka, half of a measure of lillet blanc, shake it over ice then add a thin slice of lemon peel’. The barman scoffed as if to say – ‘Ok asshole, you’ve seen Casino Royale a thousand times, I get it’.
We get seated in Blades which is the new restaurant on the 1st floor, separated to the cocktail lounge by a velvet curtain. The waitress gives Ana the first crack of the pepper, and I get the hump. A message to all you waiters and waitresses out there:
Women are going to outlive us by 7 years, they’ll be driving our Ferrari’s and banging our best friends long after we’re in the ground. We’re also paying for the meal, how about we get the first crack of the pepper?
I explain my theory to Ana, prefacing this with ‘I have this theory that is only semi-sexist’. Turns out its probably completely sexist but I like to think the point was made.
I finish off a steak, a lobster, a side of fries, asparagus. I order a bottle of Forrester wine and when Joe the waiter presents the bottle I say ‘ah that’s the one‘ like I order it in every restaurant in and around Mayfair.
Ana and I talk about Brexit and Ana’s drunk neighbour who she thinks is now ordering escorts to his apartment below. Joe the waiter presents us with a nightcap, I hit the Octomore and bore poor Joe with tales of my trip to the Bruichladdich distillery. We leave the restaurant suitably f8cked.
Back at Ana’s she gives me the choice of watching either a documentary on Joe Calzaghe or an Archeological dig on lost cities of Egypt. Being the gentleman I plum for the latter and I’m asleep before the credits roll.