Postcards from Rio – Part Dois – Sugarloaf


“His name is Jaws, he kills people.” – Bond, Moonraker.

The streets are quiet on the way to Sugarloaf, the trees over hang the streets like a tropical umbrella offering a weird post-apoloyptic feel. Man hasn’t so much as invaded this oasis, but formed an alliance with it’s surroundings. The trees have accepted our presence, cooling the streets from an abundance of shade and a symbiotic relationship between man and nature is omnipresent. Brazilians also have a blatant disregard for bra’s. Ironic considering the country has ‘Bra’ in it’s title, that no one seems to own one. It should be called Bra-zero. Nips and oscillating pendulous breasts swing and sigh with impunity in this part of the world.



Sadly there are no images from The Statue of Christ because I left Anastasia’s £400 camera in the back of the taxi. It was a kick in the nuts this morning realising that I lost that camera as I only had it my possession all of two minutes. What I will say is that you should mug off any train ride up the mountain and just uber it all the way up. But be weary that taxi drivers don’t speak any English and think you’re a god damn maniac when you impersonate the Statue of Christ (arms out) as a point of reference. Cristo Redentor is how they pronounce it over here.



The cable cart trips up Sugarloaf mountain is one off the bucket list for Bond aficionados. Although it soon becomes apparent that Sir Roger would have never have been able to ‘jump’ and shoulder roll after zip lining down with Holly Goodhead. The drop to the nearest bit of greenery would have been at least 150-200 feet. There are also no telescopes up on the mountains. (Dr Goodhead, fancy seeing you here).



The real cable that Jaws bit through was made from liquorice


Up Sugarloaf you’ll pay 77 Brazilian Real, (just under 20 sheets). It opens at 8 so get there at 8 and have the run of the place. Up there you’ll find some of the best vistas humanity has to offer. Planes circling like buzzards and landing on a strip on the other side of the harbour. Get some cheesy bread and as many pictures as you can. There is free wifi but it only lasts ten minutes or so. There is no wifi up by the Corcovado Mountain where the Statue of Christ is. The taxi drivers are up for haggling on price to take you down, but speak no English, so good luck. Oh and make sure you don’t leave your girlfriends £400 camera in the back seat. This isn’t uber, if it’s gone it’s gone.


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