Pure London at Olympia

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I was at the NEC a few weeks back for an autocar show and the women the brands put out to represent their stations were frankly intimidating. All dolled up like grid girls in their lycra suits with their fake cleavages and their camel toes. I didn’t want to go within 10 feet of these women, they scared the life out of me. Hey car PR people, if you’re listening, car guys don’t go into that sort of thing and do you know why? Because we want to geek out on cars and talk camshafts and hydraulics. We don’t want to be distracted by the rack of some barbie doll whose fake tan is running down her fake t*ts under the UV lights as she pedals out free calendars and leaflets. Unless she can explain to me what compression ratio is she has no place on the same carpet as those automobiles.

 

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SO I digress, back to Pure London. Thankfully there wasn’t one single camel toe in sight and the female reps all had a quiet unassuming beauty about them. The girls at AC Label were exotic to me. Clarissa and Alexandra with their Italian accents and porcelain skin showed me around their stables. Their clothes were cool too so I didn’t have to feign interest or heap ingenuous praise on their product. Later on in the gifting suite, or as I like to call it, the gifting SWEEEEEET! I managed to nab one of their tee’s. Of course the flirting was kept to a minimum as I’m technically dating at this current moment. But my right hand man Nicky, a unit with a laugh that could drown out a cannon, was a single man unleashed.

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At one point during my conversation with a rather striking French sales rep, Nicky interrupts with ‘I’m falling in love with you’. He kicked the doors down like that scene in Jumanji where all the Rhinos and Elephants stampede through the living room. The sales rep blushed, and let out a coquettish smile. We moved on soon after, leaving her fanning the collar of her blouse for much needed ventilation.

‘You should have given her your number.’ I said when we were out of earshot.

‘There was a rather large rock on the wedding finger,’ Nicky said.

‘I never look at those, I’m about the present. I’m about the now, and what’s next.’

‘Spoken like a true rapist.’ Nicky said.

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Onto the gifting sweeeeeeeeeeet. Honestly we were like racoons in dumpsters looting the place. We even took a bag each full of women’s products. We did do some work however, Nicky got a bunch of great pictures I’ve included with links to the brands. You can check Nicky out at Blazing Raisin and I might do some follow up articles here if I get time.

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Nicky Cook – Blazing Raisin

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