“Pusssschy” – James Bond – Goldfinger
As I write, I have my girlfriends pussy on my lap. It’s true! It’s a beautiful Blue Russian called Maya (although I call her Manny, and when she enters the room I sing ‘Oh Manny, well you came and you gave without taking..’). Ironically Manny does give me a deposit in the litter tray and takes away the breathable air in the room. However we forgive them, because ultimately we love them more than most humans we encounter. Here is a list of people that love their cats, the Top 5 Famous Cats of Instagram.
Fat Boy Rudy is from Philadelphia. Just like my favourite boxer, Rocky Balboa. However unlike Philly’s favourite son, Rudy doesn’t look like it’s done too many laps up and down the famous steps to the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Rescued from inside of a wall and born with half a tail. I imagine other cats look at Rudy like Henry Hill looked at Paulie from Goodfellas. ‘Rudy might have moved slow, but it was only because Rudy didn’t have to move for anybody.’
Just love a Persian Cat. Puffin’s round face and short muzzle is accentuated by the contrast black and white colours. Puffin spends most of his time hanging round with his brother Bruce, confronting a porcelain statute and looking confused like you’ve just asked him to nip round the corner and get 20 B&H.
The dandy of the web. With nearly 3 million followers, it’s sad to think that if I was on a plane with this cat and it nose dived into the pacific, this cat (who will probably be in first class) will get more column inches than me. If someone kidnapped Nala, she would fetch a higher ransom than me. If the Barack Obama got taken out by an alien invasion, the joint chief of staff would swear Nala in as president ahead of me. I mean it’s quite depressing when you think about it.
Coby has this look of constant disappointment. A bit like my Mum had when I’d return from school with new holes in my trousers. Look when you’re sliding around on the apshalt of Hinchingbrooke tennis courts playing conker football, trouser tears are likely to occur. What a game, conker football. Brutal, anarchic, and totally devoid of any skill. I digress. Those big blue eyes have won Coby a small cult following on Instagram to the tune of nearly 600k followers.
From down under. Wolfgang and Moses sound like an 80’s buddy cop movie from Europe. They probably capture other cats that come in their garden and do a good cop/bad cop routine. They look like good mates, although I’m sure one has a wife and kid that doesn’t speak to him and the other a drinking and gambling addiction. Standard 80’s movie cop behaviour.