I’m a bit rushed for time folks, so I’m just going to shoot from the hip from this one. All images are taken by me, no filters and certainly no one is paying me to write about Gillette Fusion 5.

There’s two moments when you’ll realise you’re in a bad place as a blogger.

  1. It’s 14.30, you’re sitting in your pyjamas at home thinking, ‘have I masturbated today or not? Well, better make sure.
  2. After years of having endless stacks of shaving gear mount up in your odds and sods draw, that’s even after you’ve handed out dozens to mates and family members, you don’t even have a goddam razor for yourself.

It appears not every razor brand out there needs me to review their product. I should really just review the same clippers I’ve used for the past ten years.

Below are some before and after pictures of me which make me look like I’m the sort of chap that might have an incriminating hard drive.


Not hungover, just look this way

I used the Gillette Series 3 sensitive shower gel, which is knocks the crap out of other gels. Plenty of volume and gets right in there.

Gillette-Shaving-Gel Gillette-Razor-Fusion-5

First off I remember when it was radical to even get 3 blades on a razor. Now we’re out of control with 5 blades, there’s really no place left to go and it’s why the terrorists hate us. We even have manual razors with vibrate mode for christ sake. But that’s in the Fusion Power. I went for the cheapier version.


As you can see not perfect, I’ve even missed a couple of spots, but it’s good enough. These shots were taken directly before and after. A lot of people might want a closer shave than this, and you could probably get closer by having a second shave against the grain.

The best thing I like about Gillette is that I don’t get any cuts or rashes. Unlike some flimsy one blade bic razors that I sometimes subject myself to when on the road.

This razor is currently £4.50 at my local Tescos.


What am I looking at eh?

Did you like one? Learn anything new? Of course not, but look this is what you get from a blogger that doesn’t get invited to Baselworld. He sits at home and writes about how pissed off he is that he’s finally had to join the rest of society and pay for his own goddam razors.


Ok if you want to see other grooming articles or fancy getting your brand reviewed by a 5’2 man with more nostril hair than hair, then get in touch or comment below. I’m very available. Click on any picture, takes you to my INSTA page where I desperately want to appear saturnine and not 39.


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