Hey all, just wanted to give you an update on my sober mission and how my body is reacting to having no alcohol 8 months in. Early mornings are my thing now. I can’t remember the last time I got out of bed past 6am, which for someone who has no kids and doesn’t have to be on a construction site, is pretty good.
I have lost weight since going sober. I wish I chronicled my weight at the start but the picture above will give you an indication of how I’ve lost circa 2 inches around the waist. I haven’t done anything radicle with my diet and I’ve even let my diet and workout regime slip in the last couple of weeks.
I’m great, I’m not waking up feeling like I regret every single move in my life up till this moment. When I’d have a hangover in the past I’d contact everyone in my rolodex and apologise for every wrong turn I ever took with them. Actually one thing I do notice is that I’m not reflecting as much in general. Not sure if that’s a non-drinking thing, but I’m looking more into the future these days. (Oh well done Pedro, good for you, now go check on those homemade brownies and don’t forget you have your sewing class at 2 this afternoon).
I’ve not been tempted, but I have moments where I know a f*cking whisky right now with this cigar will go down a storm. Recently I was at Churchill’s with a friend smoking a stick on the terrace. He ordered a couple of whiskies and I sat there with my alligator pear cocktail wishing it was the last day on earth. I dream of a tech nerd running into my office saying the satellites are out, it’s check mate. I’d get my friends to tie my to a chair and pour bourbon down my gullet like they did to Cary Grant in North by NorthWest. Yeah you will find times that being stone cold sober sucks balls, but there’s no getting round that.
Seen the news this week? This stewardess got fired for being ten times over the limit. Claims she was being silly, was going through a messy break up.
I think we should all be allowed one working day, where we can turn up steaming f*cking drunk. It will be a lot more fun for everyone else. You work with people all the time that are hung over to sh*t and they’re a nightmare right? They’re easily agitated, irascible, c*nty, and they fall asleep within 20 minutes of turning up.
I’d much rather a drunk person than a hungover person on my shift. Take this lady, she ain’t f*cking flying the plane she’s at the back sticking f*cking meals for one in the microwave, pointing to emergency exits and that’s it. If she makes an announcement the minute we’re wheels up ‘hey everyone, if you need an extra blanket its above your head. You need anything else you can go fuck yourself cos I’m calling in drunk today. If you want your fucking ham wrap toasted you can sit on it for all I f*cking care. You want a beer? Well get em quick cos I aim to rip through these f*ckers before we hit 12 thousand feet.’
Unfortunately I can’t link to that story because it was in print and not online, however I found another story closely related to a stewardess getting drunk on a flight that might amuse you. How did she get found out? She was caught reading her book upside down.
You can hear me ramble about the benefits of going sober on the upcoming one man podcast, out every Saturday. Follow me on Soundcloud and leave a comment it means a lot. You can check out the My Sobriety section of my website if you’re looking for further information on giving up alcohol.