The other night I rocked up for Gresham Blake’s book launch just outside Spitalfields Market. Admittedly I’d never heard of Gresham Blake but I had heard of Ray Winstone and Steve Coogan were hosting, that was enough of a pull for me. Being the lazy journalist I read the press release on the way down and find out that Gresham Blake is a tailor. And sh*t the bed wouldn’t you know this was the night I decided to wear wall-to-wall denim.


It’s my worst nightmare being under-dressed. I had just spent a whole day previously in a 3 piece, like Bond I wear the cut of my suit with such disdain that I couldn’t spend another evening in the same suit. But of all the nights to not wear a suit, I may as well have turned up in a Batman costume. Actually even that I would have taken, maybe a Robin costume, and not a cool-campy Burt Ward one, but a Chris O’Connell Robin costume complete with rubber nipples.


I grab a cocktail and hang outside smoking with Steve Coogan. He’s in a small pocket of people and I can’t quite get my weaselly way into the conversation. I don’t want to disturb the man, he looks happy not being accosted for a shameless selfie. Eventually I work up the guts to go in the party. Ray Wintsone passes me, I say hi. He grimaces at my denim get up and rightly so. However I catch Heavy D from Storage Hunters and I approach for a selfie. Only I can’t remember the name of the show, is it Storage Wars or Storage Hunters? God damn my memory, so I do a classic ­ ‘Heavy you’re the best thing about that Storage ..  show’. He looks miffed and utterly uninterested, yet I grab a selfie and he casts me aside like a used jizz-tissue when he spots Ray Winstone.


My confidence utterly shot, I grabbed another cocktail and went outside to talk to a guy who had a dead bat on his suit. I left on a low, disappointed in my own short-comings as a lifestyle journalist. Always read the press release ahead of time Pedro, always. (All imagery by John Pickup, please visit




  1. March 28, 2016 / 6:28 pm

    What a pretentious cunt..get a life you Southern Ponce..

    • March 28, 2016 / 7:02 pm

      You’re doing the Lords work Cunt Finder. Thank you for your correspondence.

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